"Don't you know?^^ I like you as you are."

The title of this post is a verbatim text message Il Han sent me, and was also the moment I knew that things were serious.

I am writing this blog knowing full well that I am going to get some crap for some of the sublimely saccharine things I am going to describe, but at least for posterity’s sake and a great story, I am writing this down.

So as I mentioned in a previous blog, I recently participated in a weight loss trial program. On perhaps the second or third day of the trial I mentioned to David that I thought one of the research assistants on the trial was cute, and I wondered aloud if I had a shot. So every meal I came in for I always made sure to smile at her and be extra nice and flirty. She seemed to be responding positively, but I assumed that it was most likely because she was required to for the program. I learned the girl’s name was Yu Il Han (Yu being the family name) and began addressing her by name.

Around the second week of November I decided I wanted to escalate things a little bit and I was going to use a Korean hallmark holiday, Peppero Day, as an excuse. November 11 in Korea is Peppero Day. If you have ever had Pocky Sticks, in Korea those are called Peppero (November 11, 11/11 is Peppero Day because the date looks like Peppero…get it?). So I bought her a nice gift box of the peppero, wrote her name on it and hid it in my lunch box that I knew she would find. When she found it, she politely came in and thanked me for the box.

During the trial I always worked during the dinner time so I had my meals delivered. David was able to go to the center, however. By sheer chance, one day David finished his dinner at the same time that Il Han was getting off of work. They chatted in the elevator and she mentioned she was going to meet some friends for dinner. The restaurant was on his way, so David offered her a ride to save her the taxi fare, and she accepted. At one point while they were talking, Il Han asked David why I gave only her Peppero, and not any of the other girls. David said something like, “Well, I think he likes you.” To which David said she smiled and seemed very pleased, but was concerned that I would ask her out before the trial ended, because she would have to decline for fear of losing her job. David of course, being the good friend he is, relayed this info to me.

So for the next week or so I continued my light flirting and eventually asked her for her cell number. At this point we started texting, and things kinda took off from there. My birthday was coming up and David and I let it be known what bar we were going to celebrate at (and break our diet, haha) and so to my surprise, Il Han and her friend Seung Eun expressed interest in coming. I was of course delighted, and the girls showed up. Despite being drunk on jaegermeister and 2 bottles of Soju I somehow remained quite charming (according to the girls).

At this point Il Han and I began casually dating. We’d text during the day and go out for coffee or norebang on the weekend. Things started to get serious and I started realizing I really liked the girl, a lot. I was always VERY understated at the center, because I didn’t want to be the cause of her losing her job. I think I did a good job because other than David and Il Han, her friend Seung Eun was the only person who knew anything. Seung Eun really took an interest in the budding relationship because she gave me a lot of advice on dating a Korean girl (it’s quite different, trust me). Seung Eun also helped translate a few times when one of us couldn’t quite communicate what we meant. Il Han’s English is fine, but it can be hard to explain your meaning to a non-native speaker sometimes.

So, fast forward a few weeks and the medical trial was finally over. I asked Il Han when she would be available for dinner, and she said Wednesday, so I picked out a nice restaurant and we decided to meet at 8:30.

I decided I would ask her to make it official on that date, so I picked out a nice set of silver earrings (pic on facebook) and we went to dinner.

Dinner was at a nice Italian place called Team, that was quite good. The arriabiata was delicious…good job Korea. I didn’t think you had it in you. So after dinner she wanted to take a walk, so I agreed, and we walked toward Deokjin Park a little ways away. We ended up walking through the park, which was really cool at night. We even walked across this suspension bridge that scares the crap out of me because it MOVES. So we took a lap around the park and at one point she asked me, “What do you want for Christmas?”

This is where it gets really cheesy. You can make fun of me if you want, but I got the girl in the end, so I win. Korean girls aren’t as jaded as we American’s are, so they appreciate the big showy romantic gestures.

So Il Han had just asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I responded with “Well…what I really want is…Na-ough yeoja-chingu-ga dway-ough jool-eh” which means “Will you be by girlfriend” in Korean. I practiced that for a decent amount of time to get the pronunciation right and to be able to say it without stumbling over the words.
It took a second for what I said to sink in and looked at me with a surprised look and said “you really asking me?” I said “Yes” and she said “I am so surprised!!” she then paused for what felt like an eternity, but was prolly only about 3-4 seconds and finally said, “Ok. Good!” and gave me this really cute double thumbs up and then jumped in to my arms for a hug. I am betting you all are wondering why I didn’t give her some big passionate kiss or something like that, but this is Korea. They move agonizingly slow here.

After this, I gave her my Christmas present, which she loved. She asked me “What I really wanted” for Christmas, and I said “You said, yes. I’m happy with that.” We then walked out of the park and I got her a cab and then myself one and headed home. All in all, it worked out quite nicely :)

Just to make things a bit more poetic, I’d like to point out that I realized the place I asked her was no more than 300 yards from the hotel that I spent my first two nights in Jeonju at. I literally could see the place from where we were standing. I suppose it kind of brings things full circle.
What a crazy year it has been.

V is for Victory

So tomorrow is the last day of the diet food trial and it is safe to say that over the course of the two months David and myself have won over the majority of the ajummas and ajisis (old Korean women and men). I am always respectful and full of smiles when I come in to the room and they seem to like that Dave and I always seem so happy. Except for two men. We'll call them Captain Frowny Face and Sidekick.

I don't see them as often as David does due to timing, but they like to needle David about how he has been in Korea for 6 years and isn't fluent in Korean. They do like to pick on me when I come in because I know significantly less Korean than David.

So David and I came in to lunch this afternoon and sat down. A few minutes later Frowny Face and Sidekick came in and sat down and immediately went in to a diatribe about how I was "polluting the air with my American talk" and how dare I speak English in their presence. I obviously didn't understand everything that was being said but between our limited knowledge, the liberal peppering of "David" and "Joshua" coming from his mouth (and a few translations from the research assistants) we knew what they were saying. This diatribe went on for a good 10 minutes and David was obviously quite annoyed and trying to remain silent not wanting to do something he would regret. At this point I decided that my reputation in the room was enough to put this prick in his place.

I began to talk a little louder to David and started to laugh and enjoy myself. I looked Frowny Face directly in the eyes across the table and said "Hangu maol moteyo, SHOCKER!!" (I don't speak Korean, shocker!!) and made a face that basically said "ooooh!" and this elicited several laughs from the ajummas. He started barking and pointing in my direction in obvious displeasure. It was at this point through sheer awesome timing a Christmas commercial came on the TV playing a Christmas song in English. I looked up from my lunch and dramatically pointed at the TV and said "English-ey! GRRR!!!" which drew a bigger laugh from the ajummas and Frowny Face began to get red with anger. A few minutes passed and he is STILL bitching about me and trying to shame David and make him tell me to shut up.

I gave David a sideways glance and asked him how to say "happy" in Korean. I then said in Korean, with a huge grin on my face "I am happy". I looked down for a second and asked David how to say "angry". I then looked up, pointed directly at Frowny Face and in Korean said "he is angry" and then made a dramatically angry face and mimicked him. This sent the whole room in to hysterics and basically forced Frowny Face to shut up. He was generally quiet for the remainder of the meal, and David and I sat there with a triumphant look on our faces.

At this point, Mrs. Han comes in. Mrs. Han is one of the older ladies in the trial and is also one of the kindest (which is VERY shocking considering the way most older Koreans view foreigners). She immediately feels the tension in the room and asks what is going on. One of the other ladies explains that Frowny Face was giving me and David a hard time as usual. Mrs. Han immediately starts laying in to him about leaving us alone. She said that everyone should love each other and that Koreans need to accept and love the Chinese, the Japanese, Canadians, Americans, and all the people of the world. Frowny Face got up and gathered his things and as he was leaving I got one last jab in to the delight of the room as I smiled, waved, and said, "I love you!".

A Study in Futility

So the other day I got a phone call from Mr. Jeonju, Dave Van Minnen. Dave runs a really popular website called the Jeonju Hub, which is a site dedicated to the weygook culture of Jeonju. He calls me up and tells me that he had been contacted about a medical study going to Chonbuk University Hospital and wanted to know if I might be interested. Basically, the study is on the weight loss effects of a diet of nothing but traditional organic Korean food. The study has included only Koreans, but they decided they might earn a bit more validity if they brought in a few token foreigners.

Dace and I had to show up at the hospital at 7:30am for screening. This is a pretty tough task for foreigners who tend to work late and thus stay up later...but we pulled it off. We were required to fast for 12 hours before the test and then they did some blood tests as well as EKG and various measurements. I also weighed myself and found out I weighed significantly more than I thought I did...so I'm in a pretty foul mood....but at least its motivation to stick to the study.

So here is what we have to do. Starting Monday, we can eat ONLY the food that is given us...which will be traditional Korean organic food. No snacks, no other meals. We are allowed to drink alcohol, but have been told to limit it. The part that sucks....is we have to go to the hospital 3 times a day, 7 days a week, for 8 weeks. Meals are at 7:30, 12:30, and 7:00p. We're getting a small amount of money to do this, but nothing really major ($300). The benefit though is that I won't have to pay for food for the next 2 months and I am basically guaranteed to drop a ton of weight. Who knows, maybe this cleanse will be good for me and I can drop a bunch more weight before I come home.

Doctors...

I went to the Dr today for a screening about what I will talk about in my next post....but you could tell that the doctors were scared of me and Dave Van Minnen. I'm assuming it's because Koreans are really nervous about using English around foreigners...but it's kinda funny when you are talking to a doctor and they are visibly scared.

Hair WTF

A popular hairstyle in Korea is called " 똥머리" which literally translates to "Dung hair" because it resembles a pile of shit on your head. I'm not joking.

Elevator

Last night I got into an elevator with a group of children who suddenly had a panicked look on their face, as if I was going to break the elevator. So, just to scare the crap out of them....I jumped.

Punishment

In Korea, the common method for punishing students (at least at my school) is to hit the students with a stick...HARD (I do not partake in this). The thing that confuses me...is the students don't learn from the mistakes. They just do the same thing the next day and are hit again....

Random thought

Today my free talking class asked me how much I weigh. I said 2000kg (4400 lbs). They believed me. They asked me what I ate for dinner. I said 20 large pizzas from Dominoes. They believed me. Kids will believe anything.

Also, for some reason every time I see people welding in Korea...they are NEVER wearing a mask. What the hell is that about?

Stress?

My boss is very much against me and my co-workers from talking to each other...ever, going so far as to stand next to us whenever we are talking or even telling us to go to our rooms. Today he asked me what my co-worker Joseph and I talked about. I said that we just talk to de-stress between classes. He said he didn't understand what would cause us stress. It was very hard not to say "You".

Josh tries live Octopus

So let it be known that on July 30, 2010, I tried something I never thought I would....live octopus. I was invited out to drink Makkoeli, a weird Korean alcohol that I am told is made the same way as beer is, so for all you home brewers out there I mm assuming (but not entirely sure) that Makkeoli is like drinking beer wort...but more alcoholic. It tastes NOTHING like beer, so I don't quite trust this claim....but regardless.

The whole experience is a lot of fun. You have a metal kettle that you pour the makkoeli into small bowl...and drink from the bowl. With each kettle of makkoeli you buy, the also send you some kind of food to eat with it...and the more you buy, the better the food. When you empty a kettle, you hold it up in the air and shake it and it makes a loud clanging noise.

Well after a little while, the owner brought out a plate with some greens on it...and a LIVE OCTOPUS. She then tossed it on the plate and because cutting it up with a scissors with some scary precision. Once it was all cut up, the pieces are all still moving and it looks terrible.

The lady handing me a piece which immediately suckered itself to my tongue. I started to chew and chew...and chew...and chew....and chew. It was very rubbery. It didn't have much of a taste, but the texture was off putting, and had this weird creamy/buttery slime on the outside that I almost choked on. It was definitely an experience...but not one I want to have again any time soon.

Heres a video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aw2un8nFnuY

4th of July in Korea

I’ve written previously about how incredibly proud you become when you sing the National Anthem in another country. That experience, however, is trumped by spending a 4th of July abroad. Just to make it clear, I would have much rather spent my 4th in the USA, but you gotta make do with what you got.

My friends and I decided that we were going to make the 4th a weekend long celebration, and do something big both Saturday and Sunday. Because of this, we decided to stay in on Friday night…but I still managed to have a blast drinking in my apartment while talking to friends on Skype. I ended up staying up until 4am…which is ungodly late for me, but it was a good night talking to my old friend Melanie.

Friday night Spencer, myself, Stacy, Cheoseouk, Eva, Eva’s friend Paul, and Feel Moon decided to go to a restaurant called VIPS which was supposed to be this high end restaurant. It was a nice place...and extremely expensive (we each paid at least $40…which is about 4 times what we normally pay for dinner. I got bar-b-que ribs. They were underwhelming to say the least. Unfortunately my desire for ribs got the best of me because I broke my own rule. I NEVER eat at rib places I don’t know, and never try a new one unless someone I trust recommends it to me. I’ve eaten at a lot of places in my day, and there are only 2 I will eat at these days. Jerry’s Old Towne in Germantown, WI and Bobby Q in Phoenix, AZ. What made me thing they would have good ribs in Korea…I will never understand. So despite the high price tag, the ribs were mediocre. Each meal with with a “salad bar” which was basically a buffet…but still I’d estimate the quality of the food to be akin to Ponderosa….edible, but not worth the price. The night ended with everyone going back to my apartment to drink soju, but was sadly interrupted when Eva’s mom called to ask her to come home.

Saturday was a bit more exciting. I hadn’t heard of any parties or anything and I couldn’t afford to go to Seoul for the weekend, so I got a bunch (12 in all) of my friends together for dinner. We decided in the name of the holiday we had to go American…so there really was only one choice of places to eat…TGIFridays! Maya and I decided to pre-game before we went, so we were both a little tipsy by the time we got there. The food was excellent. I had a combo meal that included boneless wings, chicken fajitas, and a brownie. I also drank 3 mudslides which were tasty as always. After TGIFridays spencer and I went to MillerTime for a pitcher and waited for Feel Moon. He picked us up and we took a little drive through the Red Light District in Jeonju. It was exciting because they girls are gorgeous, and there is always an element of danger involved because the place is run by Korean gangsters and foreigners are NOT welcome. I took two videos of the drive.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CuREijF6chQ
http://www.youtube.com/wcath?v=uyuGvIW6H08

I hope everyone had a wonderful 4th of July…I can’t wait to celebrate next year back in the States!

Divine Intervention

Today at work my boss made a comment to the new teacher about how I was losing weight and how much bigger I had been when he hired me.

He then went on to proceed to tell her that he didn't hire me as a business decision, because if it had been a business decision he wouldn't hire a big person like me. Instead...he hired me because he thought I was sent to him by God to be saved.

How do I know all this? I was standing in the room while he relayed this.....

What. The. Heck?

12 year old bitches

I am convinced one of the girls at my school is trying to get me fired. I have no idea why she hates me the way she does…but she has been going all out to get me fired. Joseph my co-worker feels the same way, as he has heard them discussing me (in Korean) in his class, It all started last Thursday (6/17/10) when she told my boss that I hit her. This was of course backed up by another student. On Monday, the class she is in said I was sleeping in class and reading a magazine. Then on Tuesday, she said I was trying to steal her property.

In response to the stealing of property, she pulled a rope, (yes, a ROPE) out of her bag and tried to throw it around me. I grabbed it and tried to take it from her. She wouldn’t let go and a tug of war ensued. My boss walked in, he made me let go of the rope, and nothing was said to her. In regards to the sleeping in class….this is obviously not the case, unless I have developed a skill of correcting pronunciation while sleeping. However, with the lack of enthusiasm these kids put in to the reading, it would NOT be hard to fall asleep.

The magazine, I will admit I was reading….but only because the kids were listening to a story on CD. I listen to these kids read the story 100 times, I do not need to be listening along with the CD while they do. As soon as the CD ended, I put the magazine away, and continued with the class.

Not I will address the alleged hitting of a female student, backed up by a “witness”. Obviously this is a complete fabrication. Why the hell would I, a 28 year old man, hit a 12 year old girl? There is absolutely no benefit for me to do something like that, and it really pisses me off. What pisses me off more…guess who’s side my boss is on this whole situation? He is ALWAYS on the side of the students when they complain about Joseph or me. It’s really frustrating when I can’t get any kind of support from my asshole boss.

At this point, I swear Korea is just out to get me.

Annoying my students

Sometimes when my students piss me off, I like to point at one student, then another and make my hands in to the shape of a heart. The gesture is big in Korea to mean two people who are dating, and since my kids are all in 4th grade or under they realllly don't like the idea of dating one another. They usually get really upset and angry. It's hilarious. If I am particularly annoyed, I choose a same sex person and make the gesture. Koreans are not big fans of the gays so this REALLLY gets them.

On a side note, I had a one on one class today and the director walked in and sat down and told the girl that God loved her. I had a puzzled look on my face, so he explained to me that he was trying to get her to accept God' love because she (and her family) are Buddhist. Way to abuse your power!

Things as of late...

You know, when I first started this blog, everything was so new and finding new topics of things to write about was easy. I just wrote about the stuff that happened in my daily life, tried to throw a humorous spin on it, and there ya go. Instant blog update. I am now 5.5 months in to the adventure in the orient, and things are really starting to run together. I can only write so many blog posts about drinking too much with my friends on a Friday night. Mostly now it is a little sprig of an idea that works great as a status update, but isn’t strong enough to support its weight as a blog entry. So for those of you who have been reading my blogs and asking me to write a new one, I apologize for the delay, and sparseness of my blogs. As Ricky says to his father in American Beauty, “Thanks for not giving up on me”.
So I just got a flip hd camera a few weeks back off of ebay. I have been uploading the videos to youtube, and will be sharing them on facebook and on here. They should give you a bit of a view in to the day to day of my life, as well as a glimpse of the cast of characters that make up my daily life. So far I have about 10 videos or so up…so feel free to check em out at http://www.youtube.com/narconis

There has been a lot of drama lately in Jeonju. Even though we are all adults, and we try to get along as best we can…there are so few of us that it can’t help but feel like Jeonju is a small high school some times. We all drink way too much, stay out way too late, and gossip travels as fast as phone calls are made. Just an example of the drama/gossip, in the last two months we’ve had: 1 girl removde herself from the group because she was called out for lying, a few big fights, an unwanted pregnancy, and 1 professed unrequited love. I swear we could write a season of Degrassi based just on our lives out here.

I bought a rice cooker. There aren’t many restaurants near my apartment…okay, scratch that…there are tons, but I don’t feel like walking more than ¼ mile in this humidity. I love it. I spent 50,000won on it and it is supposed to have all these cool functions and settings on it, but since they instructions are in Korean, I can only do 1 function…make rice. This reminds me. In the USA, when you buy almost anything…the instructions come in like 6 different languages, and Korean is usually one of them. It would really be nice if in Korea they returned the favor. I think that until Korea corrects this injustice, we should no longer include Korean in any of our instruction manuals.

I tried making dakalbi the other night. I was starting to get a little cocky since I was starting to see myself as a bit of a cook because I can successfully pour water and rice into the cooker and press a button. I found a recipe for the sauce online and bought the ingredients at Emart. I was so proud of myself as I mixed the ingredients and stirred them over the stove as I added the cooked rice and mimicked what I saw at the restaurant. Unfortunately, it tasted NOTHING like what it does at the restaurant. I’d even go so far as to say it was almost inedible. It was terrible…and sadly I have a lot of unused sauce ingredients sitting in my cupboard that I expect will stay that way.

So today at precisely 2pm I heard a loud screeching noise outside my window at work that sounded oddly like an air raid siren. This went on for a solid 15 minutes. It was quite annoying (although not as annoying as those stupid horns at the World Cup matches). I later found out that this in fact WAS an air raid siren and that on the 15 of every month Korea has an air raid drill. This makes sense since the Korean War is technically not over, and with all the drama the last few months it is a reminder that these drills might be needed. As it turns out…technically everything is supposed to stop during these drills. Joseph explained to me that 12 years ago when he got here…even the cars pulled over and stopped…including taxis (that continued to charge you during the drill). This doesn’t happen now-a-days anymore. No one even flinches. What the hell is the point?!

So it’s World Cup time and Korea has the fever. Everyone is wearing red, they are yelling, cheering. It’s pandemonium. I was in my apartment the night of the first game, and I could hear all the screaming whenever Korea scored. I’m been rooting against Korea and letting people know it just to annoy them. They do love the soccer here. Then again, so does Priscilla. She has made it her duty to watch EVERY match of the world cup. EVERY MATCH. I’d like to point out the 3rd game of the day starts at 3:30am in Korea. I wanted to watch USA/England but no way am I STARTING a soccer match at 3:30am! On a side note, most of my Korean friends are supporting North Korea in the cup as well as Korea. That would be almost like the US supporting Iraq in the fact that we are in a military conflict against them. I understand Korea is Korea…but just 3 months ago they sunk a ship and killed several hundred of your countrymen. Personally, I hope NK gets trounced out of the World Cup without scoring a single goal.

For those of you worrying about me over here with the news of the North Korean aggression….know that I am safe and not even slightly worried. Hell, I kind of WANT something to happen. It would make things a little more interesting around here. To be honest, I am in one of the safest cities in Korea if the shit were to hit the fan. Jeonju has NO industry whatsoever. It is purely a cultural city. Furthermore, Kim Jong Il considers Jeonju sacred and would never bomb here because his grandparents are buried in this city. If the ish hits the fan, I am in no real danger…as upsetting as that might be to some of you out there.

My friend Allie got to go back to Wisconsin yesterday. I am jealous. Most of my friends over here are getting to visit the states, or having someone come from the states to visit them. Actually…now that I think about it…I am the ONLY one I know who isn’t doing at least 1 of those. So if any of you want a free place to crash in Korea, you are more than welcome.

First Impressions of my New Job

Ok...so I have completed my first week at my new job...and I definitely have some thoughts on it. First thing, it is infinitely easier than my previous job. I am teaching elementary school kids who speak almost no english. Mostly you just talk at them and hope the grasp some of the things you are saying. They work mostly out of a book. It's quite easy...but unfortunately that makes it VERY boring. This job sucks. I seem to be the school bitch at this point because I don't really teach classes as much as read the same 3 stories over and over to the kids and have them mimic sentences. I have literally fallen asleep in the middle of a sentence before. It's a living hell.

Also, the teaching day in brutal. To those of you working a 9-5 it may not seem bad, but trust me on this...any teacher will back me up on this, as well as any foreigner teacher in Korea. I work a solid 6 hour block of classes. Most schools have 50 minute classes with a 10 minute break between classes. Not my school. Oooooh no. I teach 7 classes a day with literally NO break between them. They removed the 10 minute breaks from class to squeeze an extra class in the day and get the most out of my time at that school. The bell will ring and the kids literally shuffle out and the new class shuffles in and I keep teaching. It SUCKS and by the end of the day I am EXHAUSTED.

So other than that, the school director is wierd. He is the same guy who made the losing weight and attending church demands. Have you ever heard of the concept of a "hands-on boss"? This guy takes that to the extreme. He will literally pop in and out of the classroom and take over for a few minutes...or he will sit in the back of the class and participate like he is a student. He doesn't just do this to me either, he does it to my Canadian co-worker as well who has been teaching in Korea for 12 years. He hates it more than I do...but there isn't much we can do about it. You just have to kind of pull back, ignore what it going on, and deal with the fact that your boss is literally undermining you in the classroom. Hopefully I can find a way to subtly tell him to GTFO because 8 months of him doing that is going to kill me.

Another thing, today in one of my classes a student didn't do the homework. My boss literally HIT HIM WITH A STICK 3 TIMES. I'm talking like broom handle thickness, and hard enough that the kids cried. I sat there in horror as it happened. The noise was loud enough my co-worker peeked in my window and gave me the "WTF" hand signal we use to communicate when we can't speak.

This is going to be an interesting 8 months....ugh.

A Thought for my Readers

I have said it before, and I will say it again....as much as I love that people read this...I don't write it for you. I write this blog for myself, as a way to remember my year hear in the past, and a way to let out some of the daily stresses we deal with.

That being said, I would like to remind everyone that you are not in Korea. Pretty obvious, I know. I have been getting word from different sources that people think I talk to much trash about Korea or that I should be doing things differently, or not writing some of the things I write in my blog. My situation is not unique. For every person who has a perfectly wonderful experience in Korea, there is another who has an absolutely horrid time. I fall somewhere in the middle. My time has been both horrid and wonderful. The biggest comment I get from people is that I sound so negative, that I am miserable all the time and should be enjoying it. Personally, I don't see where you can get that idea when I write about the crazy fun nights I have. I just also write about the stuff that annoys and frustrates me, or the stuff that I find odd.

I am not unique in the things I say about Korea. I know several people who are having a wonderful time here, and even when I am around them...the number 1 past time of foreigners living in Korea seems to be talking trash about Korea.

Anyone who has lived abroad will tell you that you cannot describe how it is. None of you are reading this who have never lived abroad cannot comprehend what it is like. Sure...you can visit a country, but in such a short time you are likely to find the quirks amusing at best. You are only there for a short time and soon enough you will be back home amongst family and friends doing what is normal for you.

When you live abroad, things get more extreme. Something you found odd or funny when you first got there suddenly becomes one of the most annoying things ever. That interesting food you ate that you really loved....now makes me you want to vomit when you think about it. Each person experiences it differently, but things are just more extreme when you are there for a long period of time.

Just because things bother me does not mean I am not enjoying my experience or at least taking something away from this. I am doing everything I can to get the most out of it. Every aspect of my life here cannot be shared in the blog...there isn't enough time in the day or it just really isn't that interesting.

So to those of you who are out there, if you take anything away from this post...please understand I am doing what I can here and am having fun when I can. However, just like back home not everything is going to be perfect, something are going to annoy you...and since I am so far away from home, those things are a bit more extreme. I understand things and my own situation over here far more than you do....so please stop judging, please stop telling people behind my back that I should be doing something another way, and please stop telling others that I am too negative on my blog.

You don't understand...and unless you pack your bags and join me...you never will.




As an aside, I recieved an email from a girl I graduated with who is currently living in Italy who deals with the same crap I get...and here is the email she sent me.

"Hey there,

I'm a bit behind in reading your blogs but just skimmed through the blog about people's perspective on your life abroad.

smile, it has been one of the HARDEST things to ignore or to not get pissed off at - having people treat your life abroad like it's just vacation. I loathe this...and HATE when people are like, "Why aren't you traveling more?" "Oh you are so lucky." "Oh what are you upset at that?" "It's not a big deal - it's ITALY!" They don't, and never will, understand the culture shock and all the emotions that happen for people living abroad.

People don't realize that I still have to wake up, go to work, put up with work bs, pay my bills etc...most people will never get it. They don't realize the cultural and linguistic difference because they have never experienced it!!

Ignore there comments or tell them that you still have to live your life...it just happens to be in another country and it's not vacation for you.

You and I don't seem like the kind of people who are ALWAYS going to find the BEST thing about a situation or are ALWAYS going to smile about EVERYTHING - that's bs - that's not life. I know people who are always smiles about everything and it really gives a wrong impression to others who have never experienced being abroad...

Just wanted you to know - you aren't alone. It's a pain in the ass to get people to understand your perspective and that you appreciate the opportunity (good and bad) but it's the CULTURE SHOCK experience that they will never understand. And some of the coping with that is just being upset or angry with things...smile, we bash Italy too - more like WTF's!

Good to know that someone else feels it :-)

Take care Josh."

New Apartment, New Job

So last Wednesday I received a phone call from my new boss who simply asked me “are you ready?”. I’m like “Ready for what?”. “Ready to move.” As it turned out he wanted me to move to a new apartment that day, but wasn’t going to give me any notice. So I literally spent the whole day packing up my apartment to move about 10 minutes away to a new location. I wasn’t sure what furnishings I was supposed to leave in the old apartment, so I took the things I wanted and left the place a little trashed when I moved out. I figured this was my payback for the countless times he knocked on my door to tell me to lose weight. My new apartment is bigger, which is nice. I do like it, but unfortunately it is not in Bukde anymore…and that is where all the fun is! Ah well. The apartment didn’t have a bed when I moved in and the manager asked me to sleep on the floor for a few days, which I refused to do. Luckily I was able to get a truck so I could go back and steal my bed from the old apartment to sleep on. It’s a terrible bed, but a lot better than the floor. The manager also didn’t have internet set up yet, so I was stuck going without internet for a few days, which was agony.

I started the new job the following day, and the manager obviously had no idea what to do with me. There were no classes for me to teach, so he sat me in a room and wanted me to read student books. I asked him if I could go watch the other teacher, which I did for the whole day. It’s was kind of boring, but the teacher, Joseph is really cool, so that made it a lot easier. After work, the boss sat me down and tried to get me to agree to go with him to the gym every morning at 6am. I told him it wasn’t going to happen. He said he was disappointed because I promised I would lose weight. On Friday he pulled the same crap with wanting me to go to Church on Sunday with him…but I also refused. He just signed a contract with the building for apartment and he paid to have my visa transferred over…so I guess it is his move now.

Jeonju Archive

This is a blog I should have wrote about 2 months ago when it actually happened…but due to school and just forgetting about it, I had to wait until May to write it…so here we go.

So a few months ago I went out drinking with a large group of Americans to our favorite little haunt, Red Puncha. We all just refer to it as “Whiskey Bar”. The owner, Ke Baum is awesome and I suspect he cuts us a deal every time we go because we always bring about 9-10 people with us, and all get drunk and fed for about 10,000won each. So here we are sitting at this bar, drinking fruit soju and beer when I notice the table next to us keeps looking over at us. They are a decent size table of Koreans. Finally one of them looks at me and says “Where you from?”. “Mi gook!” I reply, and the Koreans all went “OOOhhh!”. One of them pours a beer and hands it my way, and which I take and say “One shot? Race?" (“One shot” is a borrowed phrase the Koreans adopted to mean “chug it”). The table cheered and the guy who handed me the beer’s face dropped. I think he knew what he was in for, but after much goading from his friends, he accepted. I promptly trounced him and immediately broke in to a USA! USA! Chant. The rest of my table joined in and it was all smiles. The guy wanted a rematch, of which I dominated him again….so again I busted out the USA! USA! Chant. So, at this point Molly wanted in on the fun so she challenged one of the guys to an arm wrestling match. It was a hell of a battle and she always won, but ultimately lost to the Korean MAN. They decided to do a Korea! Korea! Chant, so I started singing the Star Spangled Banner. Everyone joined in and this opened everyone up to start singing any patriotic song we could think of. We sang “This Land is Your Land”, “God Bless America”, “God Bless the USA”, “50 Nifty United States”, and a few others I am forgetting. When we ran out of patriotic songs, we switched to TV Theme songs like “The Brady Bunch” and “Fresh Prince of Bel-Air”. All in all it was a damn good night, and I think we represented America well…at least in the drinking department.

And now a few random observances:

A few months ago one of my students was talking about putting animals down at the animal shelter by referring to it as “Killing them with kindness”. Sinwoo then began talking about killing arts with a magnifying glass saying he caused a “holocaust for ants”.

I get followed by Korean schoolchildren sometimes who literally point and laugh. It’s really annoying, and I swear one of these days I light throw one in to a busy street.

There is a guy who rolls around Jeonbukde on his hands and knees begging for money. It’s both sad and scary at the same time.

Before Top closed there was a school wide dinner that all the teachers were invited to except for me and Spencer. This is not the first time it has happened so I asked why we were being excluded I was told "because we thought you would be uncomfortable being in a place surrounded by people who don't speak English". I was like "What...like Korea?"

New Job....sorta

So I found a new job in the city I am living in...so luckily I don't have to move across the country like I was going to have to before. I had an 11th hour interview Saturday morning and the guy offered me the job, and then we confirmed it today...however I am going on a 3 month probation first, based on 2 conditions.

1. I have to lose weight.
2. I have to go to church

Basically the guy said that God loves me and that is why he was hiring me. I basically lied my ass off to get this job. I told him I was a christian, who exercises a lot now, and that I rarely drink.

This should be interesting....

A little trip down to the RLD

So tonight was the last time I was gonna going to get to see Lydon and and my old boss Charlie (the nice guy) so we decided to go out for dinner. After a nice dinner of Korean ribs, we decided to head towards the bar. As kind of a last going away present, Lydon asked Charlie to drive to the Jeonju Red Light district. This has been kind of a long running joke between us where me and Spencer (mostly me) try to get Lydon to escort us to the Red Light District to translate for us. Every time he would get embarrassed and say no. He would only go so far as to tell us where it was...but as for actually going with he us he would never go. I doubt Spencer and I would ever actually utilize the services provided (not that I am against prostitution) because not only is there a pride issue, but I just don't think it is worth it for the price.

Either way, the RLD was more than I ever could have imagined it to be. Keep in mind that prostitution IS illegal in Korea, however the police definitely turn a very blind eye. The Red Light District is exactly that...a whole district. I'm talking multiple small side roads. It't pretty obvious what they are too because...get this. It's lined with long glass windows that go on forever, and sitting in chairs by the window are the hottest Korean women you have ever seen. Spencer and I couldn't believe it. I kept proclaiming "Ohl mai oh! Ohl mai oh!" (how much?!) to which Lydon responded with jumping out of the car and running to the door to find out the price. We watched as he did this and after a few seconds we saw the girls doing the big "X" signal with their arms. When he got back we asked what they said.

Lydon: "For me, 70,000 won ($62)"
Me: "And for us?"
Lydon: "They won't do it"
Spencer and I: "Why not?!?!"
Lydon: "They said your things are too big"
Spencer and I: *High Five*

My First Trip to Seoul

So I was having a terrible week last week, so Spencer came up with the great idea of us going to Seoul for the weekend. I wasn’t too sure on the idea because I was unemployed and broke, but he was persistent and I ended up agreeing with him to go. We were planning on leaving early that Saturday morning, so the Friday before I had a student show me which subway terminal was Itaewon and which was the Bus Terminal so I could navigate my way around the subway system. We decided the trip would be an overnight trip, so I packed my roller bag with 3 changes of clothes and we set out the next morning on the 8am bus ride to Seoul. The bus was 2.5 hours, so we got there about 10:30.

So we get off the bus and head in to the terminal. I decided to inspect my bags and pack away my ipod so I had less things in my pocket. Unfortunately as it turned out, somehow my brand new, less than 30 day old Amazon Kindle turned out to be cracked. I have no idea how the hell that even happened because the heaviest thing in my roller bag was a damn shirt. So right away this put me in a foul mood. Either way, Spencer and I started looking for signs to the number 3 subway line, and eventually made our way to the terminal. To get in to the Subway we had to go down about 4-5 stories underground, but first we needed to buy a ticket. We waited in line for one of the ticket terminals and were relieved to find out that English was an option. Unfortunately for us, this being our first time and also having the pressure of a long line of Koreans waiting behind us, I got a little gun shy on the terminal and couldn’t figure out how to buy a ticket to Itaewon. I regrettably had to have someone help us out.

Let me step aside for a second and tell you that the Subway system in Seoul is everything people say it is. It is incredible. It is unbelievably huge (there is almost 350 miles worth of track and you can even take a subway to Incheon which is about 30 minutes away by car) and dirt cheap. Most trips are only 1000 won (less than $1) and there are tons of maps to help you get where you are going.

Ok, so back to what I was saying. So we rode the subway for about 25 minutes making one line change to arrive in Itaewon. Itaewon is basically THE PLACE for foreigners to go in Korea. I had set up some really high expectation based on some raving by my friend Maya, and at first I was a little disappointed. It was a bit smaller than I anticipated. And I definitely didn’t feel like I had left Korea like she had sad I would. Spencer and I wanted to try and find a hotel to drop our stuff off at. We had heard you could find cheap “love motels” everywhere that were really cheap and could be rented out by the hour if you wanted, but didn’t immediately see one, so we thought we would check out the Hamilton Hotel first. This place was NIIICE. It had a huge lobby where a man greeted you at the door and carried your bags for you. We went in to find out how much a room cost, but it turned out to be booked solid for the night. By this time it was already 11am and I wanted to catch the Red Wings at Coyotes game two, so I set about trying to find a sports bar that would have the game. The first bar we went to didn’t have it, but they told us the general location of a bar that might, so we went exploring. Luckily I found the place, and it was all Americans! Even the bartender was American. I was pretty stoked about that. Luckily they had the game on, so Spencer and I sat down and ordered a beer. We both had skipped breakfast that morning so we decided to eat at the bar. Spencer ordered a hamburger and I ordered nachos. Both of these meals are pretty uncommon in Korea so we ended up paying a bit more than we would have liked to for the privilege, but you find out you are willing to spend more than you think you are when the comforts from home are rare. Unfortunately for me the Coyotes lost and that put damper number two on my day…so I was pretty bummed. At this point I was really sick of lugging around my roller bag and looking like some tourist asshole (which is kind of ironic considering almost everyone in Itaewon could be considered a tourist…even if you had been living there for 5 years) so we set out to find a hotel. The second hotel we found was a place called IP Boutique Hotel (http://www.activehotels.com/1/1/3548689-ip-boutique-hotel-itaewon.html). It was this nice ass 4 star hotel. We checked out the price and it turned out to be 165000won a night ($148). We decided to splurge since it was our first time and all, so we got a nice room on the top floor with half a zebra painted on the wall. It was niiice. Everything was really classy. The bathroom was all glass (which was a little weird because if you were standing there was NO privacy what so ever). Heck, the toilet was even this super high-tech number with heated seats and a button I accidentally found out shot a jet of water up your…undercarriage. We threw our stuff in the corner, picked a bed and turned on the tv. Spencer got a phone call from this girl Stacy I had met the night before. By sheer chance she had planned to come to Seoul that weekend as well, but through some miscommunication she ended up missing her friends. We convinced her to still come anyway, so we waited in the hotel room until Stacy arrived. When she did, we sat around the hotel room a bit chatting (as we do a LOT now that we are all such good friends), but after a while we decided we wanted to go explore. Stacy had really wanted to see Namdemun which is this huge market area. As it turned out, the place friggen burned down a few weeks prior, but the open air market was still intact. Once we got there, I noticed the place looked familiar. I am a big fan of a show called “Three Sheets” which is a show about drinking cultures around the world. This guy, Zane Lamprey, literally gets paid to fly around the world and get drunk. Best. Job. Ever. Well anyway, in season 2 he visited South Korea, and I was sure this was one of the places he visited. Sure shit, no more than 5 minutes into exploring the street I saw the same street vendor featured in the show!! He goes by the English name “Kevin” and you could tell he gets asked for pictures a lot because as soon I noticed who he was the other street vendors started laughing. I had Stacy take a picture for me and she filmed the whole interaction. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FJDhQPMafnM . So after exploring Namdemun for a while (I bought some delicious dumplings, 5 for 2000won and a remote control helicopter for 25000won) my friend Allie Wenzel from high school called. She lives in Seoul and since I was in the area (finally…after 4 months) we decided to get together for some drinks. Stacy wanted to meet up with this guy Jose she had met on her plane to Korea so he gave us a general area he was in and we decided to take a taxi to find him. We ended up meeting Jose and a friend of his at a place called Wa Bar.

So we went in to Wa Bar and sat down. Jose’s friend as it turns out was from Racine, so Allie and I chatted with him for a bit about how great Wisconsin is. Eventually he went back over to the other side of the table where Stacy, Spencer, and Jose were playing drinking games. Allie, Allie’s friend who’s name is escaping me at the moment (which makes me an asshole because he bought me a beer), and I got in to a pretty heavy discussion about life, and high school, and how far things have come since Allie and I first met In Middle School. It was really cool getting to see Allie again since I don’t believe we have seen each other since high school. It was kinda nuts to think that it had been almost 10 years and we were meeting up in Seoul, which is over 5000 miles away from West Bend. Many beers were drunk, many jaeger bombs (at least the Korean version since energy drinks are non-existent in Korea) were downed, and eventually we changed bars. When we got back to Itaewon everyone was hungry and Allie offered to buy me a swarma (sort of like a gyro but somehow different). While we were eating I was approached by a moderately attractive Korean woman who kept staring at me. Eventually she leans in and whispered something I didn’t understand. I asked her to repeat herself and she said “Sex?” I, being quite drunk at the point responded with a “hellllll yes! Ole my oh?” (Korean for how much). She said $100 to which I said “nice!” and then went running back to the group to inform them I had just been propositioned. Despite visiting Las Vegas at least 10 times and living in Korea for 4 months I had never actually seen a real prostitute before, and even though I had no intentions on utilizing the services she offered I was quite stoked to be propositioned. She hung around a minute but then left once she realized I was talking about her to my friends.

So after a few drinks at the next bar, Spencer, Stacy, and Jose decided to go back to the hotel room. I told them I would meet up with them in a bit, so they left. Allie and I spent the next 20 minutes chatting about random things I won’t specifically name here and eventually we too decided to call it a night.

So by now many of you might be bored, and several of you might have even stopped reading by this point. Well, for those of you who made it this far, you are in for a treat. This is the part of the story where things get a little…fucked up.

So I made my way back to our nice ass hotel, and walked in to the room. Spencer, Stacy, and Jose were all drinking soju, and apparently somewhere between the bar and the hotel had picked up two more people. I sat down on my bed and started drinking with everyone as we listened to music (loudly) and talked. All of a sudden the new girl went running in to the bathroom. About a minute later her friend followed her in there. We could hear them talking. Now remember that the bathroom has walls made of glass, so we can see their feet and heads in the mirror opposite the bathroom. Eventually the talking stops and I notice that they are kissing. I point this out to Spencer who looks over and nods his head at me. Suddenly, I see pants falling to the floor and a half naked woman drop to her knees. My eyes go wide as I point this out to the rest of the group who are shocked by what they see. At this point I can’t tell if they are just so drunk they don’t realize the walls are made of glass…but over the next hour or so we are treated to what is essentially a live action porno in the bathroom. Without going in to graphic detail, they used every square inch of that bathroom, including pausing for a moment to hop in the shower. Eventually they came out of the bathroom to a loud applause from those of us in the room and they tried to play it off like they were “talking” I pointed out the glass walls and they didn’t seem to care. Everyone got in their respective beds (and the two randoms on the floor) and we decided to go to bed finally around 6am. To make things just a little weirder, the two random people decided to continue their little sexcapade on the floor in the full view of everyone. I was extremely tired at this point (and still quite drunk) so I went to bed…waking up only about 4 hours later. The two randoms were lying naked and uncovered on the floor. I decided to hop in the shower and get ready for the day. Eventually everyone woke up and we checked out of the hotel around 1pm.

We bid farewell to the two randoms, and Stacy, Jose, Spencer, and I decided to explore Itaewon a bit. We found this really nice Mexican restaurant (the best one in all of Korea we were told) and I had a chimichanga for lunch. It was glorious. Mexican food is unavailable in Korea save for Itaewon, so it had been a while. I was not disappointed. We made our way around the foreign shops where I picked up a bag of Cheetos (for about $5), a giant container of Utz’s cheezeballs (for $13), and a 12-pack of A&W root beer (for $15). I realize how expensive all this stuff was, but it’s really hard to explain what it’s like when EVERYTHING is different where you are. You find yourself much more willing to pay for just a few simple creature comforts. Actually…this feeling alone can explain the immense level of excitement and buzz you could feel in Itaewon around the giant banner that was advertising the first Taco Bell to be opened in Korea. For those of you back in the States, I am sure you are disgusted, but trust me when I tell you this…ANYTHING that reminds you of home out here is exciting…especially the little things. I’ve been making Root Beer floats all week with my A&W and it has been a nice comfort on these nights as I sit home and watch downloaded American TV.

So after we finished our shopping, we headed back to the bus terminal leaving at around 7pm Sunday night. Stacy and I chatted the whole way back, and it was a nice ending to an incredible weekend in Seoul. It was a nice escape from the bullshit drama of looking for work out here…even it was only for a day.

An Update

Ok. So the last time I updated this, I had recently been laid off from my hagwon because the school was going bankrupt. Since then, I have been applying for jobs like crazy. I’ve even been working with a bunch of recruiters. What I love about this, is that I have worked with over 9 recruiters at this point and have interviewed for about 8 positions. I received offers from 2 of them, one of which I have declined, and the other I have been stalling on trying to find a position closer to Seoul. I think I can get them to wait until next Tuesday (4/27) but that is it. The job sounds fine and all, but it is so damn far away from Seoul and Jeonju, it almost doesn’t seem worth it to me. Of those 9 recruiters, only one of them is still working for me. Mostly what it has been is that I fill out an application, they put me up for a job, I get rejected, and then I never hear from them again and my emails/calls are never returned. The only recruiter I still have working for me is a guy who goes by the English name Kevin, who really is a Saint. He has stuck with me so far through several jobs. He seems confident he can help me find a job, but you can tell he is getting frustrated. The kicker though, is that he isn’t getting frustrated with me…but with the schools.

So this is how a typical scenario goes. Kevin gets a school that needs a native English speaker ASAP, so he tells them my story, about how I am already in country and would only need a visa run to Japan, which costs almost nothing compared to flying someone over from the States. They usually request to speak to my former boss, so they call Charlie…who gives me an EXCELLENT reference every time. They are usually impressed at this point and would like to speak to me, so Kevin sets up an interview. They call and ask me a bunch of questions and I kill in the interview. You can tell you have done a good job because they start asking how quickly you can start and ask about Visa documents. Then they contact Kevin to start the visa paperwork, of which one of the required documents is a picture. This is where it all falls apart. I shit you not, but I have been rejected from 5 positions so far because I am “too fat” and that I will “scare the children”. So I can already hear those of you in the background laughing…especially about the scaring children line…but screw you. I swear to God, it’s like Korea is actively trying to get me to hate the Korean people. It’s hard to not start hating every Korean I see where I get stared at everywhere I go, pointed at, laughed at, and now I get rejected from jobs all because of my size. Korea liked to talk about how they are striving to become a “Most Developed Country” and surpass Japan, but you know what Korea? Step one…cutting down on the discrimination would be a huge step towards that goal. My good friend Maya has been rejected from positions because she is black. The only positive part of this, is that at least in Korea you know you aren’t getting hired because of discrimination…they are at least nice enough to tell you. It’s ridiculous to me to think that I could be hired right now, and that most of the schools I have been interviewing with have loved me…except they changed their mind for something as arbitrary as my size (of course my mature response to this has been depressed eating, so I am sure I have put back on a few of the 70+ pounds I have lost since coming here).

A few days ago my former boss called me down to the school because we “needed to have a talk”. He asked me if I had been looking for a job, which really pissed me off because how could I not be? He then felt he needed to remind me that I would have to vacate the apartment before the end of the month. I told him that I had been doing everything in my power to find another job, but that if I were unable to find another job before then, under no circumstance would I be leaving the apartment. He then told me I should buy a place ticket back to the United States immediately since because he “was nice enough to let me work an extra week” that I should have enough to buy a plane ticket. I informed him that he should be buying me a plane ticket since he was the one who hired me, and that I had done nothing to break the contract, and rather he was breaking contract by letting me go since my contract only allows him to fire me if I break contract. He told me that since the school was going bankrupt that he could get away with not flying me back to the US and that it was my gamble to take. I asked him what he meant and he said that staying in Korea was a gamble. He said that he was going to pay for my last check that week and that I had enough to fly home. If I chose to stay in Korea and try to find another job, it was my gamble to make because it wasn’t any of concern what happened to me after that night. This really pissed me off and I told him that he was a pathetic little man who had no common decency to bring me over to this country and then leave me stranded. He felt the need to remind me that this same scenario could easily happen in the US, and that point I exploded. I told him that what he said was “horseshit because if I was let go in the US I could file for unemployment, I could move back in with family, and I would have a support network to ensure I wasn’t homeless”. That instead, I was in Korea…a “piece of shit country where I have no rights”. He said that there was nothing he could do, that the school was going bankrupt, and had been for over a year. To this I screamed at him, “Then you shouldn’t have brought me over here, you fucking moron!”. I then reminded him that I had done nothing to break contract that he was contractually obligated to keep paying me or at least send me home. I reminded him that “this is how business works, I, as the employee accept a guaranteed paycheck in exchange for stability. You, as the owner, accept the risk that your business might fail in exchange for much larger profit…this is something you should have learned before earning your MBA from Boston College.” He told me that there was nothing I could do about it and that the way I was speaking to him was “very rude”. I then told him that what he was doing to me was really rude, and that if the way I was speaking to him before was rude that he could “go fuck himself you stupid piece of shit”.

All in all, he was completely unwilling to budge on paying for my place ticket back home (which he is legally obligated to do according to Korean labor law) and completely unsympathetic. To be honest though, even though I didn’t get what I want…I do take quite a bit of satisfaction in telling him exactly what I thought of him. I just feel bad for Spencer who still has to work for the idiot…at least until his next school closes…which it will.

The Details of my Demise

Ok. So as many of you have been piecing together from my random facebook status updates…things at my hagwon didn’t go well….and I am currently unemployed. The positive note…in no way was this my fault. I had known as early as my 6th week here that things at the hagwon were grim. The manager abruptly quit, followed by an almost immediate disappearance by his replacement thus leaving me with my 3rd manager in 8 weeks. It wasn’t until Lydon, a highly Americanized Korean I am proud to call my friend finally started working at the hagwon that he confirmed to me and Spencer what we had already kind of knew from looking at our attendance sheets and doing the basic math….our school wasn’t making any money. Even though I was gaining new students every few days, the basic turnover at our hagwon wasn’t enough to actually GROW enrollment. Spencer’s classes however, remained fairly sizeable…partly attributable (in my opinion) to him having all upper level classes and the majority of mine being beginner. See, the way it works is like this. If a student takes a beginner class, they work from a textbook called “American Headway 2”. This book is easily completed in about 2 months. Usually at this point the students will go to an upper level course, re-do the book, or go to another hagwon. The hagwon owner expects the students to want to re-do the text book which is ludicrous. Imagine taking Spanish 101 over and over again. This meant inevitably the students would either leave, or go to Spencer’s class. The hagwon owner, whom I have met once, must have taken this to mean I was a terrible teacher…and at first I might have been inclined to agree with him. However…let me pose you this question. If I were a terrible teacher, would students complain to the management on my behalf, bring me gifts, and in a few cases CRY when I told them the news? Luckily my students love me, and that has given me confidence.

By firing me…the hagwon is saving $300/mo. Yup. You read that. $300. What is funny about that…if I brought in 2 more students I would break even, any more than that…profit. Instead, the school will have to refund all the money my current students have paid including the girl who just last week pre-paid 6 MONTHS in advance for my classes.

What this all means for me…is that technically I have to start over. My visa will not transfer to the new school. I will need to fly to Japan for what is called a “visa run” where I stay in Japan for 2-3 days as my new visa is processed. This pisses me off on so many levels. First off, the owner of the hagwon held my documents for 4 months because he said he no longer had a job for me AFTER I signed my first contract. I had to pass on several jobs because he would not send me MY documents back or forward them to another school. When he did finally come back at me to tell me he had a job offer I was so excited to be going to Korea I didn’t stop to think that this dickface had already proven himself to be a snake. Even though it might sound simple to just stay the extra 3 months of my new contract…I can’t do that. I have plans to go to grad school after Korea, and I will have a LOT to do including interviews and visits before I begin. I can’t do that in Korea. I do not want to delay grad school another year…so this means I must break my contract early. Unfortunately for me…this will cost me about $3000. I would be forced to buy my own plane ticket home and I would be forfeiting the $2.2M+ won severance pay I would be entitled to had I worked the full contract. I met with my hagwon owner tonight, and he informed me that the school will be closing May 1st, so this means Spencer is out of a job as well…he just gets to keep working a few more weeks. As a sign of solidarity, and strong desire to get off a sinking ship, my fellow teachers have decided that my last day will also be there last day, so tomorrow we will be directing our students to get refunds. Since we are no longer under contract, for the time being I am going to try and convince my students to meet me at a café or something and let me teach them independently…and instead of paying the hagon…paying me, a least until I find a new job. I tried to strong arm the manager about going to the labor board for contract violations, but he wouldn’t budge. I wanted a plane ticket back to the states, my severance pay, or at least to get paid to the end of the month. No dice. I am however, exploring legal options…but I am not hopeful.
So since I found out the news…I have been looking for a new job. At the time of writing…I have 5 recruiters working for me. I am essentially quick and easy money to them (about $1000) because not only do I have a valid visa…I am already in country, which makes me VERY attractive to the schools. I have directed the recruiters to 2 areas…Seoul and Jeonju. Two recruiters set me up with interviews at schools in the rural area of Korea, and I have received offers from both of those schools, but there is one recruiter in particular who seems convinced she will have me working in Seoul…so I am putting my hope on her. Seoul would allow me to fulfill my dream of living in a HUGE city, plus I already have a friend in Allie who lives there…and to top it all off, it’s only 3 hours from Jeonju which means I can either visit my friends…or they can come visit me in Seoul.

The hagwon I work at in Jeonju is a shit hole. It’s old, run down, literally smells like urine, and is not at all attractive. The only reason I liked working there was the people. Lydon and Charlie…my managers and friends, as well as my very good friend Walter, who has translated for me so many times and helped make me feel welcome. Then of course, there is Spencer. My brother. It was him inviting me out for dinner with Walter my second week here that helped me begin to get over my culture shock and homesickness. As the only American I knew for the first 2 months here, we literally spent every day together and at least 1 meal…many days 2. I definitely feel like with him I have a lifelong friend and someone I will be able to call back in the states to reminisce about the crazy nights my first few months in Jeonju. Even if I do end up in Seoul…we will still get to hang out…just not as much. It’s like saying goodbye to your best college friend. You know it’s not forever…but it will never be the way it was.

I'm Sorry

I just wanted to assure you all that this blog is not dead. I have LOADS of stuff to write about...but I just have not had the time to write it down. As most of you know I am taking a full load of 18 credits hours of classes online while working full time, so most of my free time is spent on homework. I assure you I will find time to write up a blog entry one of these weekends, and then come April the posts will be coming at a regular clip again. Bare with me!

A Random update of collected thoughts....

Religion is very important here. Sure, it is considered important in the states as well, but it feels like the Koreans are more religious than we Americans. You see churches everywhere here. They are often times VERY big, and have huge crosses on them. That's right. They are Christian. I actually didn't expect that coming to Korea. Unfortunately for me, Koreans are not at all shy about talking religion with people. I get asked to go to church (or "Churchy as it sounds in Konglish) on a weekly basis. For the first few weeks I was here I would simply deflect the question and try to move on. A few of them started getting persistent, so I finally decided to let them know I was agnostic. I am unsure if they quite understand what I was talking about, but here is a direct quote from one of my students after class, "Religious people are better than not religious people".

In my beginner class, we work from a book called "American Headway 2". The book has all these lessons and topics and things that we go over, and one of the topics was chewing gum. So I started to talk about how much I like gum because I dislike tasting my food after I eat it, so I asked the class if they themselves chewed gum. A few of the students did, (one even chewed a whole pack a day) but then one of my students chimed in with "girls don't chew gum because it makes them less beautiful". So here I am sitting there shocked, and I ask "what does chewing gum have to do with being beautiful?". I was then treated with a nice story about how "being beautiful is the most important thing for a girl" and than "chewing gum causes your face to get bigger". I understand the theory behind this...chewing causes the muscles in your face to be worked, thus they get bigger, but let's be serious here. Your face is not going to get any bigger because of chewing gum. If repeated motion was enough to cause muscles to grow...then why don't teenage boys have one arm bigger than the other? When I informed the girl of my opinion she replied with "it has been proved by scientists".

I was out to dinner with a student tonight and she asked if V-day was a big holiday in America. I told her it was "viewed as a hallmark holiday, like boss's day" to which she replied with a puzzled look on her face "You hate gays?"

I was teaching my students conditional statements (specifically, if I had a billion dollars I'd...) so I asked how to say "billion" in Korean. Apparently my pronunciation of the word closely resembled the Korean word for "fuck you" because they whole class thought it was hilarious.

Random quote heard in class: "The Japanese are very very very very polite....but no one knows what is in their mind!"

Spencer and I went to E-mart...which is like their Walmart...only the place is PACKED constantly. Imagine Walmart or Best Buy on black Friday...and that is what E-Mart looked like. The place has 2 levels on it, and the there is a steep escalator that will take you and your cart from one level to the next. It's actually quite cool because when you put the card on the escalator somehow the wheels get locked in to place and it's doesn't move...which is a good thing because I just imagined this cart of TVs bowling over Koreans. It would be hilarious, but not very practical.

The thing about E-Mart that gets really frustrating though...is the sheer number of people there. I get stared at EVERYWHERE I go in this country, which normally I can handle. I have become quite adept at internalizing, so when I go out I usually can tune everyone out. Sometimes though...the staring gets on my nerves and I end up getting annoyed by it. It's one thing when someone stares at you, but tries to be convert about it (imagine a guy checking out a cute woman on a bus) but when it is blatant staring...and it is a lot of people, you really start to want to do some throat punching. If I am in a bad mood, I will just stare right back at them and give the people the good 'ol dagger eyes. If it particularly annoying though, I will say things to them. I know they have no idea what I am saying, but it is kind of satisfying to at least get it out there.

Finally for this update...I have found a few places now where other foreigners hang out. They aren't always American, but at least I can go there to see some other white people (and the occasional non-white/non-asian). What's weird though is most of the time people don't say anything to you. I king of feel like since there are only about 300 total of us in this whole city, when we see each other there should be some kind of secret handshake or something. Most times, I don't even get a nod. I realize it is just as easy for me to say hello to them as they do to me, but when they are sitting there with a group of friends and I am standing there alone, it can be a bit intimidating! When I am out with friends, if I see a loner, I will usually at least invite them over to the table. My social network at least has been expanding, though. I think I sometimes come off as a bit of a dick sometimes because I usually turn down requests to hang out during the week...always citing a "need to study" which is true...but since I am probably the only person in this city (or country) who is not only working full time but pulling 18 college credits...most people don't quite understand why I would spend a Tuesday night at home doing coursework instead of drinking until 2am with them.

Language Barriers

OK...so since you are going to getting only my side of the story, I will try to be as unbiased as I can.

I went out tonight with my American co-worker and 2 Korean friends. We had a damn good day. Had lunch, went for coffee, then went for dinner, then went for pool. So this Korean girl, Eva, is one of my students and I consider her a friend.

So we are playing pool and the girl decides to cheat. So I said "ohh....kesekhee!" which I had been told meant son of a bitch. I said it half laughing and wasn't looking at her...I just meant it in the way we would say "son of a bitch" when something doesn't go our way. It wasn't a planned thing to say either, it just kinda slipped out.

Well the girl...who I am friends with...gets BEYOND offended by this. I mean...she is realllllllly pissed off. I guess that in Korea that word is pretty offensive...but really... shouldn't she cut me some slack? I am an American and I have no idea what that really means. I understand that different cultures find different things offensive, but I guess I had hoped in a situation like that I would be given the benefit of the doubt. I mean...we are friends, right? Don't you usually let things like that slide at least the first time?

I mean shoot...this is a country where I get told on a daily basis that I am fat and unhealthy and need to lose weight. I hear shit like "religious people are better than non-religious people" and am told I need to start going to church despite the fact that I am pretty committed to being agnostic and don't really see a place where church would fit in to my life. Also...this place has bars that literally are called "Hitler Bar" and shit like that. I don't get offended because I realize they don't know any better when it comes to my culture...so how about the same kind of tolerance?

Isn't part of being a friend realizing that maybe...just maybe...if I say something offensive...I didn't mean it...especially when I AM NOT FUCKING KOREAN.

The whole situation has put me in a pretty foul mood so far has ruined my weekend.

331 days....331 more fucking days.

I Call It Chocolate Love

Korea loves Korean companies. I realize this might sound obvious...but really, this goes beyond national pride. Practically everything is run by huge companies that make Walmart look like the local 5 and Dime. Samsung, LG, and Lotte seem to be the biggest 3 companies, with Lotte being the biggest. Lotte is EVERYWHERE. They make the ice cream, own the stores people shop at, make most of the goods they buy...and with "Lotte World" even run the amusement park they vacation at. Hell, just to make the odd parallel to 'Dogma' even stronger, they have their own restaurant like "Mooby's" called "Lotteria".

This goes even farther with their music industry. Korean pop music, or "K-pop" is entirely controlled and created by huge companies. In America people were shocked when they found out that a few of a the big boy bands of the 90's were created by a marketing genius (like Lou Perlman who created the "Backstreet Boys"). The difference of course is that people didn't know this until well after the fact. In Korea however, not only do people know this is what happens...they are in to it! As an example, the top band in Korea right now is a 9 member all girl group called "Girl's Generation". They released an album 2 weeks ago, and I am not kidding...but EVERY song on the album is in the top 20 of their music charts. If you would like to see the number one song...here is a youtube link http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S-bYRBqBvco the name of the song is "Oh!". The band was announced over a year before even a single member had joined.

Here is what happens. When a child is discovered (either through scouting or parents submitting their child) the company, SM Entertainment in the case of Girl's Generation, takes the child in and they are trained. Some kids do acting, some do dancing, some do singing, and others do a combination of the three. A child can do this for YEARS without ever being a member or a band or anything. They are simply being trained to be pop stars. Most of them even get plastic surgery during this time because Korea's obsession with being pretty makes Hollywood look like a lifetime movie. This is a sentiment I hear almost DAILY...about how important it is to be pretty. Now, people speculated as to which SM trainees would join the band, and when the band was chosen, they were announced like the starting line up of the Super Bowl.

Once you join the band, then the real work begins. Girls Generation has been around a little longer than 2 years. In that time they have released 2 albums, appeared in several commercials, and have even done 3 reality TV shows (A horror spoof, one where the girls go around cheering up sad people, and a third where the girls take care of a REAL BABY).

The previous #1 hit was a song called "Chocolate Love" which Spencer and I both thought was supposed to be an allusion to loving the chocolate brothers out there (which is quite taboo here). We were wrong. VERY wrong. Actually, the song is a 3 minute and 56 second commercial for the LG Chocolate Cell Phone (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A2NkGHkqDZk). The Koreans are fully aware of this too.

I'm not going to lie. I really like Girl's Generation...and I am embarrassed to admit it. The stuff is catchy, and since you hear it played EVERYWHERE here, I guess it is bound to grow on you eventually...and really, that is the point. This music is specifically crafted so that people like it. There is no musical accomplishment here. There is nothing of substance to the songs, and even though it is catchy to listen to, at the end of the day it has no real effect on your life. Somehow I don't expect Korean kids 10 years from now talking about "Chocolate Love" or "Oh!" with the same reverence as someone from my generation talks about "The Freshman" or "Jeremy".

I suppose I see a lot of this coming from the states as well, with the Lady Gagas and Kety Perry's out there, but Korea takes it to a completely new level.

One Night In Jeonju

Last night was Friday night in Korea, and Spencer, Walter, and I have been getting together to go out for dinner and drinks. So last night we decided to go to a Norebang (translates to "Song Room")..which is the korean equivalent of Karaoke. I invited the students from my evening classes, of which 4 came with...so we had a total group size of 7. It was me, Spencer, Walter, Miranda, Debbie, and Sinwoo (many of the students choose English names either for fun or so their American teachers can call them something).

After my last class, we left the hagwon as a group and decided to get something to eat. We went to a place 2 floors below the norepang called "Garten Bier" a German themed restaurant that I like because of the atmosphere, the cup holders built into the table that keep your drinks cold, and the crazy glasses they serve beer in (pics to follow). Like in the States people under the drinking age have to leave places that serve alcohol after 9. This potentially was going to cause a problem because one of the students, Danny, is 15. I decided it would be worth a try, so we went in to the establishment and sat down. I had Danny sit between Debbie and Miranda because even though they are both of age they look VERY young, so by proximity Danny looked a lot older. It worked. The girls were carded, and the Danny was left alone. We order a pitcher of beer and some food and start to socialize. The girls were really interested in the cup holders built in to the table because when turned on they get REALLY cold. To impress them, I stuck my hand in there and held it in place for at least 2 minutes...which they all thought was crazy because it was far too cold for them to even touch.

Before we sat down, I needed to use the bathroom, so I went inside, for once remembering to duck and not hit my head. There were 2 Korean men occupying the urinals, just standing there smoking. I stood there and waited. They seemed to not care that I was waiting to use the urinal so I went into the stall. As I was coming out one of the men had left and Sinwoo was walking in. The other man continued to smoke while leaning on the urinal. Sinwoo walked up to the urinal and this guy basically sat there and watched as Sinwoo went. This whole situation basically broke every single rule in the "Men's bathroom code" (http://www.askmen.com/money/how_to_300/385_how_to.html)

Danny had maybe a few sips from the beer we gave him, and ultimately gave it to Sinwoo to finish. As our meal drew to a close only Sinwoo and I had a bit of beer left (my glass was poured a lot more full then the rest). So, in a show of bravado I pulled my glass up and said "Ok all...it's time for a magic trick." I then proceeded to slam the beer down in about as much time as it would have taken to pour it on the ground. I did a little head nod of acknowledgment as I made a joke about making the beer magically disappear. Suddenly I begin to hear coughing and I whip my head around to see Sinwoo choking on his beer. He said "It didn't look that hard, so I wanted to give it a try". I reminded the poor guy that I was a professional and that far better men than him had fallen before me.

*A note about Sinwoo.

Sinwoo is perhaps one of the most entertaining people alive. He is the most innocent and odd person you have ever met, so basically everything that comes out of his mouth is pure gold. I wish I could take a video of the guy because he needs to be shared with America and I really think he would be an unwitting star if he ever made a youtube video. Unfortunately he is very camera shy and the picture I have of him (a link will be posted at the end of this post) was taken guerrilla style.

So after dinner we went upstairs to the norebang. I am a huge fan of Karaoke, so I was looking forward to this. For those of you out there who have ever done Karaoke, I have to give Korea credit...their Karaoke is WAY better than ours. You do make a few concessions though in the differences. First off, there is no alcohol. Second, you have to pay (10,000-13,000 won per hour). The trade offs then are that you get a LOT more chances to sing. You see, unlike in America where you will take turns singing in front of a large group of people...in Korea you rent out a small room where you and your friends get to do all the singing. Sure, you don't get to feel like a rock star when 300 cheer for you after you sing, but it's still a LOT of fun. More importantly, the song list is HUGE. Thankfully there were a lot of American songs so I got to sing several favorites of mine (including "Part of your world" from Little Mermaid!).

We sang for about 2 hours, and I found out that many of my students are incredible singers. Sinwoo was especially great. Not only does he have a great voice, he attacks each song with the kind of passion you would expect from a trashy romance novel.

By the time we left the norebang, our group of 7 had diminished to 4 and those remaining had no desire to go to bed yet. We went to a restaurant near my apartment that has decent food and more importantly 3L pitchers for 9000won (a little more than $8). We continued to drink and eat as the Korean version of "Cheaters" called "Bad Men" played on the little tv above our table. At one point in the evening Miranda disappeared, only to come back a few minutes later carrying 2 large packages of instant ramen that she went ahead and made at the table to eat (I still have no idea where she got hot water). Spencer and I were offered some, but we both declined since we weren't hungry. Finally at about 2am Walter and Miranda decided to call it a night so Spencer and I ran across to the small market across the street to get some Soju and orange juice. Technically you aren't supposed to mix soju with anything, but seeing as how I don't care, I wanted to make my own Korean screwdriver. The night ended with Spencer and I watching "Knocked Up" with Korean subtitles on TV until 4am.

Pictures:

Korea album:

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2670201&id=8605638

The man, the myth, the legend -- Sinwoo!

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=54184320&id=8605638

3 of my students, Danny, Debbie, and Miranda

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=54184323&id=8605638

Chilled cup holders at Garten Bier

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=54184314&id=8605638

Spencer and the crazy glasses they serve in at Garten Bier

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=54184315&id=8605638

Inside Garten Bier

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=54184317&id=8605638

The hallway leading to all the norebang rooms

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=54184321&id=8605638

Inside of a Norebang room

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=54184322&id=8605638

New Friends

Thursday night I met some new friends. As I was leaving the hagwon after my last class of the night a woman was walking up the stairs. A white woman. This was the last thing I was expecting, so I couldn't help but stair a few seconds as I tried to figure out if I was hallucinating. I could tell she was a bit drunk by the way she was talking and acting, but otherwise she seemed nice. She introduced herself as Julia, and asked me if I was Josh. Apparently she used to have my job, but was now working with a different school. I told her that she was the first American I had met since I moved here, so she invited me to come out to dinner with her and her friend Kathy. We went to a dakalbi place called Gogio and had a concoction of cheese, chicken, and rice pasta. It was damn delicious. We talked and I got to know the girls and overall it was a good time. I learned a few things about some of the debaucherous nightlife I can expect to be a part of in the upcoming months. I also learned some things about the city I live in. Things such as:

1. Fights are common, almost expected. Especially when Americans are involved.

2. Cops are almost never called...and you have to earn an appearance by the boys in blue.

3. If you do happen to have the cops called, they will try to calm the parties down, but will rarely take people to jail.

4. If someone IS going to go to jail, it will usually be the younger of the two...so since I am 28 and live in a college neighborhood, that most likely will not be me.

5. If I going to get in to a fight, at least let the other person hit you first...just to be on the safe side.

I like these girls style. Kathy invited me to a pub crawl they are having in my neighborhood tonight and I am trying to go. I have a LOT of homework and reading to do first, and even as I write this..I am only doing so because I needed a break. If I do end up making it...you can look forward to a nice update about it. (I didn't make it, but at least I finished my Stats reading for the week, as well as my Marriage readings)

Racism

Jeonju is a very traditional Korean city, and as such isn't as "foreigner" friendly as Seoul. Despite being a capital city (of this province), Jeonju only has about 300 "foreigners". When Korea started pushing for it's citizens to learn English, Jeonju wasn't ready for the influx of us...so there has been and continues to be a bit of resistance. Luckily, since I do live near a college campus I am a bit sheltered from the brunt of it...but I have experienced a little bit of racism while here. To be honest, it has been relatively mild compared to some people and it doesn't really affect me. Mostly I have just had random people walk up to me and tell me "Fuck you" or they will scowl at you while giving you the dagger eyes. Hell, I've even been refused a table at a restaurant and been charged more than what I should.

Of course, this is nothing compared to what my co-worker Spencer went through. He was literally attacked by a drunk Korean man. He was walking around our neighborhood with 3 Korean friends when a drunk Korean started yelling at him. He obviously had no idea what was being said, so they kept walking. The man followed, continuing to yell the whole way. His Korean friends tried to calm the guy down and get him to leave him alone, but he wouldn't. Eventually he rushed at Spencer and started swinging. Luckily the guy was drunk so I don't even think the guy managed to hit Spencer, but he said it was a pretty tense time. Spencer was later told that the guy was yelling that his father had died in the Korean war and that he didn't understand why the country was trying to learn English and that he disagreed with having American's living in the country to teach. I am not sure what his father dying in the Korean war had anything to do with Americans...seeing as we were HELPING the South Koreans...but what can you do?

A former teacher who will remain nameless once tried to get a hooker in Korea. Prostitution is illegal in Korea but is still pretty common. There are known brothels throughout the country, but the police don't do anything to stop it. So this former teacher went to one of these houses of ill repute and decided to try and see what he could get. Unfortunately for him, he was refused at the door because "This is Korea! We are for Korean men!". This of course has now been officially adopted by Spencer and Walter (and now myself) to be the appropriate response whenever something doesn't make sense. "This is Korea!" (to be said with an angry voice in a Korean accent).

In my class on Friday we had "Free talk" which means the students can talk about anything they would like. One of the students, by far my youngest (about 9) said that she wished she could get plastic surgery because her cheeks were too puffy and her skin was too light. I told her that as she got older her cheeks would be less puffy, and that her skin was just fine. This then transitioned over to talking about how Korean men only dated beautiful women and that is why a lot of girls are getting plastic surgery. Being beautiful is VERY important (as was explained to me...EVERY celebrity in Korea has tons of plastic surgery). So in passing I said "Well, maybe you will fall in love with an American man, I have yet to see an unattractive Korean, so I know my compatriots would feel the same way". This was of course met with head shakes because as I was quickly informed that marrying a non-Korean was unacceptable and very much so frowned upon in the country. Korea is a very conservative culture, and from what I was told, American men are too liberal when it comes to sex by Korean standards.

My Eyes

Out of the blue on Friday one of my older male students told me I have beautiful eyes. This of course made me laugh and I said "what?!". The rest of the class agreed that I had beautiful eyes, so I kind of hammed it up a bit by dramatically removing my glasses and telling the class how my eyes were as blue as the sea and by far my best feature. Imagine my dismay then when as soon as I removed my glasses the girl directly to my left turned her head away from me. I asked her what was the problem and she just kind of giggled and wouldn't look in my direction. One of the students then told me that she thought my eyes were too beautiful and that she couldn't look at me without my glasses on. So to make her more comfortable I put my glasses on and we continued the class. I was confused as to what that reaction meant so I asked another student in class and he just said "thats how girls are". I asked if she had a crush on me or something (I was still very confused) to which he responded "no, no, no, no, no...that's just how girls are". Pretty damn random, huh?

Oh, by the way....Korea is trying to replace me with a robot

http://www.koreatimes.co.kr/www/news/biz/2010/01/123_59809.html

The Most Emasculating Fork in the Universe

So if you don't know...I don't much like to cook. Now, if you couple that with the fact that I can't read Korean and eating out is unbelievably cheap, you can pretty much see why I haven't made a "home-cooked meal" yet. That being said, forks are not common here. I've been practicing with chopsticks and have started to get pretty decent with them. I can even eat noodles with them! So today I decided to try out a place I had walked by every day for the last week. They have these frying pans in the middle of your table and they cook the food right in front of you. It's pretty cool because they are damn good with their little spatulas and it's quite entertaining. So while this stuff is cooking, they brought out the typical kimchis and a small salad. I finish watching this guy cook my meal (which all told cost me only 6000won and included a soda), the manager brings me over a fork and puts it down on my table.

Now, we aren't talking about a regular fork here. We're talking a fork that is obviously meant for a small child. This thing is yellow, thick plastic, and is covered in pictures of cartoon Asian children. Let's not forget that I am sitting alone in this restaurant too. I hate eating out alone but it has become a necessity as the only American I have met here is my co-worker Spencer and he has a life too. Now, like I said earlier my chopstick skills have been getting pretty good...but unfortunately how to eat rice still eludes me. I gave it a few weak attempts, put my chopsticks down, and stared at the fork. I get stared at everywhere I go here...I am one of the VERY few Americans in Jeonju, as well as the fact that I am about 4 inches taller and quite a bit heavier than everyone here....so I can feel the eyes on me. Eventually my desire to finish my meal won out, so I defeatedly picked up the fork and began to eat my lunch. Every few minutes I switched back to my chopsticks hoping to score a few points with the Koreans watching me. At least I tried right?

I am very much so looking forward to my books being delivered in a few days so at least I can read textbooks while I eat...if only to give the illusion that I am not some pathetic lonely American with no friends (which I am!).