V is for Victory

So tomorrow is the last day of the diet food trial and it is safe to say that over the course of the two months David and myself have won over the majority of the ajummas and ajisis (old Korean women and men). I am always respectful and full of smiles when I come in to the room and they seem to like that Dave and I always seem so happy. Except for two men. We'll call them Captain Frowny Face and Sidekick.

I don't see them as often as David does due to timing, but they like to needle David about how he has been in Korea for 6 years and isn't fluent in Korean. They do like to pick on me when I come in because I know significantly less Korean than David.

So David and I came in to lunch this afternoon and sat down. A few minutes later Frowny Face and Sidekick came in and sat down and immediately went in to a diatribe about how I was "polluting the air with my American talk" and how dare I speak English in their presence. I obviously didn't understand everything that was being said but between our limited knowledge, the liberal peppering of "David" and "Joshua" coming from his mouth (and a few translations from the research assistants) we knew what they were saying. This diatribe went on for a good 10 minutes and David was obviously quite annoyed and trying to remain silent not wanting to do something he would regret. At this point I decided that my reputation in the room was enough to put this prick in his place.

I began to talk a little louder to David and started to laugh and enjoy myself. I looked Frowny Face directly in the eyes across the table and said "Hangu maol moteyo, SHOCKER!!" (I don't speak Korean, shocker!!) and made a face that basically said "ooooh!" and this elicited several laughs from the ajummas. He started barking and pointing in my direction in obvious displeasure. It was at this point through sheer awesome timing a Christmas commercial came on the TV playing a Christmas song in English. I looked up from my lunch and dramatically pointed at the TV and said "English-ey! GRRR!!!" which drew a bigger laugh from the ajummas and Frowny Face began to get red with anger. A few minutes passed and he is STILL bitching about me and trying to shame David and make him tell me to shut up.

I gave David a sideways glance and asked him how to say "happy" in Korean. I then said in Korean, with a huge grin on my face "I am happy". I looked down for a second and asked David how to say "angry". I then looked up, pointed directly at Frowny Face and in Korean said "he is angry" and then made a dramatically angry face and mimicked him. This sent the whole room in to hysterics and basically forced Frowny Face to shut up. He was generally quiet for the remainder of the meal, and David and I sat there with a triumphant look on our faces.

At this point, Mrs. Han comes in. Mrs. Han is one of the older ladies in the trial and is also one of the kindest (which is VERY shocking considering the way most older Koreans view foreigners). She immediately feels the tension in the room and asks what is going on. One of the other ladies explains that Frowny Face was giving me and David a hard time as usual. Mrs. Han immediately starts laying in to him about leaving us alone. She said that everyone should love each other and that Koreans need to accept and love the Chinese, the Japanese, Canadians, Americans, and all the people of the world. Frowny Face got up and gathered his things and as he was leaving I got one last jab in to the delight of the room as I smiled, waved, and said, "I love you!".