Mi Gook Day Sah Kwan

So today was the big day I went to Seoul to visit the American Embassy to file for a replacement for my stolen passport. I was dreading this day all week just because I knew it was going to be pricey...and because I wouldn't at least be able to explore Seoul to make up for it. I had made plans with Allie Thull, a girl I went to High School with whose own trip to SoKo finalized my decision to come here. Unfortunately, my work decided that this was too good of an idea, and instead figured they would be pricks and require me to still work in the evening (despite still charging me 1 of my 7 vacation days for the year). So despite me essentially being required to go to Seoul and immediately come back...I was led to believe I had to be on the bus at 6am...so I got up, and took a taxi to the bus station. I bought my ticket to Seoul for 17000won and off we were. Allie was nice enough to plot the entire route for me including detailed subway directions...but my boss led me to believe I would never make it back in time without using a taxi.

I sometimes wonder what the heck I was thinking by coming here because this place is not even slightly built for me. I am 6 foot 2 inches...or roughly 4 inches taller than everyone in this place...so if I am not careful, I hit my head a LOT. This morning was no exception. Getting on to the bus, I hit my head hard enough to daze me for a moment and give me a nice little headache. So I go to find my seat...and I find that they have those stupid immovable armrests. Great. This is going to suck. So I sit down, and find out immediately I am not going to fit in this seat. My only option is to force myself in to this seat, which is extremely painful...but what can I do? Furthermore, I experienced what it must be like for a black guy to walk into a convenience store because every person sitting in the rows around me got up and found seats as far away from me as possible...making me feel quite welcome. I know you bastards out there are prolly thinking "Well...maybe you smelled?". To this I reply "Eff You". Not only did I shower this morning...I can assure you I was the ONLY person on that bus wearing deodorant.

So fast forward about 3 hours of pain, and we finally arrive in Seoul. I am going to admit...I was impressed. Seoul is a big ass city with big ass buildings, and anyone who knows me, knows that I LOVE big cities and skyscrapers. What sucks, is that since I didn't get to stay and enjoy the place...it was much like giving a premenstrual woman a small piece of chocolate. It was enough to excite you and make you crave more....lots more...but not enough to leave you even slightly satisfied.

So I got off the bus and walked for about 15 minutes until I found a bunch of taxis waiting around and I hopped in. My boss told me to just hop in and say "US Embassy" and the taxi driver would go. So I do just that...and all I get are blank stares. Nothing. He speaks to me in Korean....and I respond my own blank stare. Finally I remember (thankfully so) that I had asked my students how to say "American Embassy" in Korean. So I say to him "Me gook day sah kwan". He punches in something on his GPS and off we go. I am in the cab for about 20 minutes and luckily I found myself in front of the US Embassy. (Side note 7100won for 20 minute cab ride...not bad)

So I had this mental image of what to expect at the US Embassy. I figured there would be a giant holy light beam shining on the building, with dozens of American flags raised. After crossing a courtyard filled with oak trees and fountains, that a door would slide open and I would hear a booming voice in perfect English say "Welcome my son, you are safe now". Sadly...this was not the case. First off, the place looks like a prison. There are police EVERYWHERE....like every 5 feet or so. Korean police. There is just something about the US Embassy being guarded by Korean Police that seems wrong to me. How about we get some American Soldiers or something? So I up to a big door and am buzzed in...to find more Koreans. I am stripped of all my electronics and scanned for weapons. I am given my paperwork along with a visitors badge to regain my belongings when I am done. I walk in, cross a parking lot...and am buzzed into the actual embassy building. Surely here I will see the first American person not named Spencer, right? Wrong. More Koreans. What the f?! I go in to the Citizen's Services office, take a number...and sit down. I wait until my number is called, and go up to do my business. Luckily my my dad sent me my extra passport photo from back home, because I am immedately told that that passport photos I paid 10000won for were invalid because they were too small (this pisses me off). I go through the rest of my transaction, pay the $100 for the passport, and I head out. I hailed a taxi...and once again, this bastard doesn't speak a lick of English. My boss specifically told me to say "Central city bus terminal" and they would get me there no problem. Wrong. Luckily I kept my original bus ticket from the morning, because I pulled that out and showed the driver who after a few seconds of looking at it figured out what I was looking for. I was of course dropped off at the wrong friggen place...but I found it after walking around 1/3 mile and showing people my bus ticket. I paid another 17000won and on my way back to Jeonju I was.

Of course the seats on THIS bus were smaller than the seats on the previous...so again this was 3 hours of pain on a bus. I did get to ride into Jeonju for the first time during the daylight tho..and I got to see the World Cup Soccer Stadium that was here from the year SoKo hosted. Luckily those pictures turned out because the picture I took of what I can only describe as Korea's rip off the Gateway Arch in St Louis did not. This city is actually a pretty decently sized city and I will have to do some exploration one of these days. So once I got back to the bus terminal I hopped in to a taxi and told the cabbie a Korean phrase my boss told me to say that would take me back home. Of course when I told him...he started laughing. He even called someone on a cell phone and told them what I had said...laughing. He must have thought I was dumb and couldn't understand that he was just saying what I friggen told him....so this pissed me off a bit. I later found out that I asked the cabbie to drop me off at that thing in front of my school that looks like a subway entrance but is actually just a ridiculously long way to cross the street. Why that was funny to this guy I don't know.

At least it is Friday...and tonight I plan on drinking. I am going to check out Korea's version of a German Bier Garten. I'll be sure to fill you guys in on the details. If you would like to see my pics I took in Seoul, as well as the other pics I have taken while in SoKo...visit the following link to the album.

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2670201&id=8605638&l=dd6a1b4f5a

"I Think That The Avatar Has A Message"

Ah yes. That lovely quote above was overheard in the class of my co-worker Spencer. As he is relaying this message to me, I begin to crack up and he says to me "Really? Just a suspect feeling? I really thought the message was pretty fucking heavy handed". Even re-reading it I am laughing. That shit is funny. I don't know if it is that some people here can't read subtext, or even if that it exists in Korean cinema...but that just cracks me up every time.

So in my class the other day, we were talking about TV shows people like...and one of the grown ass men said to me "I like the Sex and the City"." This shocked me. I looked at him mouth agape and told him that in America...not a single straight man would be able to live down admitting that. Here...it is acceptable. Hell...I even found out that men can be in to fashion here. It is even acceptable for men to be in to girly pop music like the Pussy Cat Dolls (by the way...go check youtube for "Chocolate Love"....thats huge here). Hell...it is not unheard of to see men walking down the street holding hands. I have the awesome picture in my head of what would happen when two Korean men would walk downtown in San Francisco. Can you just imagine two Korean men walking down the street hand in hand...and accidentally joining a gay pride parade? That...would be epic seeing as homosexually isn't accepted here as well as it is in america (and lets be honest...it's still not quite accepted in the US).

Let's play a game. It's called "This is a rip off of The Price is Right". I am going to name 3 products...and you are going to pick the prices.

360ml bottle of 80 proof Soju (distilled sake)

1 bag of Snickers Candy

Bottle of Shampoo (Head and Shoulders)

The prices you can choose.... $10, $1, $5, $6, and $9.

I'm going to assume you went like like "Soju...$10. Snickers...$5...and Head and Shoulders....$6." You would be wrong. VERY wrong. The shampoo....$9, Snickers...$10!. The booze? $1. That's right. The liquor was $1. We're not talking about the bottom rung of the booze here too. We're talking Jinro...the most popular Soju in all of South Korea. This just seems so very off to me....but perhaps...it's genius. Think about it....if you want to get clean....you are gonna spend almost $20....but if you want to get drunk? That is cheap as hell! We could be so lucky in the US. Their national liquor is only slightly more expensive per fluid ounce than what we spend on bottled water. Speaking of which,,,,you can easily mistake a bottle of Soju for bottled water...as I almost did today. You know those big ass bottle of water that hold like 1.5L in the US? You can buy one of those in Korea at any gas station...but its soju. I almost bought one today but the guy at the counter was like "Soju! Soju!", I like to drink and all...but it was a little too early.

I am supposed to go to Seoul this Friday to get my replacement passport. Because of this...I am required to take a day of vacation. So I was thinking I would meet up with my friend Allie whom i went to High School with who teaches near Seoul...so as not to waste the $70 or so I will be dropping on the bus fare (not to mention the 3.5 hour trip each way) and whatever it costs for the Taxi to the American Embassy (or Mi gook day sah kwan as they say in Korean). Apparently...this is not to be. I have been told I am to come back to Jeonju immediately upon finishing at the embassy so I can work my evening shift. What the f? So I am taking one of my vacation days...of which I only get 7 for the entire YEAR....to go to Seoul to replace my passport...that was STOLEN from my HOTEL ROOM....and you STILL want me to work....on a day I am using a VACATION DAY?! What the f? This doesn't leave me much room for error either. Keep in mind I am being made to do this on my own...no one is going with me or driving me...and I don't speak Korean. What if I get lost...what if the embassy is busy? If he thinks I am actually coming back to work this shift...he is sadly mistaken. It's not going to happen. F that. I plan on not coming back and just claiming I got lost. Screw 'em. Don't charge me a f'ing vacation day if you are expecting me to work. How about you eat me....mmmkay?

TGIF

So today was my first Friday...thank God. I am so excited for the weekend so I can sleep in. Last night I went out with my co-workers for the first time; Spencer, an American from Annapolis, Maryland, and Walter a native Korean who speaks with very little accent. They invited me out of dinner and I decided "why not". We went out for chicken wings, which actually turned out to be pretty good. To be honest I didn't think I was going to like Spencer much because in our first few conversations we didn't seem to have a lot in common (he isn't in to sports at all) but I was surprised at how similar our experiences on coming to Korea were, so the 3 of us had a good night and at least now I can look forward to going out and having some fun once in a while.

Today for classes I was feeling a bit lazy so I decided that today would be a "free speech" day where the students could talk about whatever they wanted. This actually worked out pretty good and I was glad because nothing is more uncomfortable when there room is silent and are desperately trying to get people to say something. At the end of the class I decided to ask the students to teach me some phrases in Korean that I could use to get by a bit and they happily obliged. I asked them to teach me phrases such as "Hello" "thank you" "excuse me" "I don't speak Korean" "how much is that"and "I want to fight you". They were all pleasantly surpised at how well I was able to mimic the worlds they said and they told me I had excellent pronounciation. This even caused one girl in the class to exclaim "You use your tongue so well!" to which I replied "That is not the first time I have been told that!". Only one of the students got the joke, which I was ok with...but I thought it was funny! The even stayed after class for a while because they were having so much fun...which made me happy. Then...to my surprise I even got a bag of groceries as a gift today! One of my older students brought me a bag of oranges, a bag of apples, some milk (not as bad as the first time...but smells and tastes a bit too much like corn), some sweet potatoes, and some bread. Not too shabby, eh?

I still have to go back for second half of the day in 2 hours...but since I told everyone to bring in a favorite song that we were going to play and then they had to tell me what the song was about in English...I don't expect the day to finish on a down note. I am still trying to decide what song to play for them...but I am leaning towards "One Day" by Matisyahu or "Johnny Quest thinks we're sellouts" by "Less than Jake". Matisyahu is a nice and peaceful song...but I really do love me some ska music.

Wednesday...

So today I finally had breakthrough in my classes. After being told yesterday that I needed to make the classes more interesting (despite not receiving any training in even HOW to teach this shit) I decided that I was just going to print out a bunch of questions and spend class time just talking to the students. Depending on the size of the class and how talkative they are...this can be kinda fun. Today we talked about the earthquake in Haiti and I discovered that Koreans are not very in to humanitarian work. I asked that if in a hypothetical situation, they were in Haiti...if they would help the people by joining in the relief work. They looked at me like I was crazy. I did kill in class today with a stolen joke from "My Big Fat Greek Wedding"...the only about the man being the head of the household but the woman is the neck. I saw that movie once as part of a class and for some reason that joke always stuck with me...I'm glad I was able to steal it for my own gain.

I was also asked to guess everyone's age in the classroom (and range between 17 and mid 40's) and they thought it was hilarious that I couldn't give an accurate age. Many times..Ii wasn't even close. Like...I told a 17 year old I thought she was 27 and a 40 year old that she was in her mid 20's. It's damn hard! Normally I am pretty good at guessing ages...but not here. I told them that to me, all Asian people looked the same...to which I was told that all White people look the same so it was ok.

I've been trying to learn a few Korean words...and they LOVE it when I successfully pronounce something. My address is:

Josh Yochem c/o Top Language School

1266-14 3rd Floor Deokjin-dong 1 ga

Deokjin-gu Jeonju-si Jeollabuk-do

South Korea, 561-191

I asked them to explain this to me...because that is some seriously confusing shit. I also wanted to know what the hell "dong" was because even at 28 I found that shit to be funny. I also informed the students that their addresses were too long and explained that I lived in a city MUCH larger than theirs in the US, and even I could write out a complete address in 3 short lines.

After almost a week of being in this place...I FINALLY found a place who's food doesn't gross me out. It was the first real meal I have eaten in several days. It cost me roughly $7...and since I am still only eating 1 meal a day...I will most likely just make a routine out of stopping at this place for lunch. On a side note...since I don't like the junk food here...and I am only eating 1 meal a day...if I am not dropping pounds like nobody's business...I am going to be so pissed.

Also, I registered for 3 of my classes at ASU today. I still have a few days to decide and a few more questions I need to get answered...but I really think I am going to try and go to college while I am out here.

Question I was asked today: "What is the difference between 'so' and 'such'?" How the f do I answer that question? Koreans are obsessed with grammar so they ask me to explain every little thing and I am usually left to just say "uh.....we say this..." I just tell them that I can tell the right answer...but I don't know WHY it is that way.

Todays blog wasn't all that funny, so I will leave you with a joke. "Two men walk in to a bar. The third one ducks". What did you expect? I'm not your God damned monkey!

First day at work

Today was my first day at work. Coincidentally my day started at the same time the Packers game was starting back in the 'ol USA. I teach an intermediate and 2 beginner classes in the morning from 7-10am. I then have off a few hours and teach a beginner, an intermediate, and an advanced class in the evening. I am expected to come up with my own topics for the intermediate and advanced classes...including today, my first day. The beginner classes are easier because they go off a book, which was comforting to have a bit more direction. I wasn't a big fan of the trial by fire method of the morning intermediate class. Last night when I was trying to prepare, I started to get pretty tired, and was having difficulty finding a decent article...so I just settled for the first article that looked interesting to me. It was called "Can Men and Women Ever Just be Friends?". I figured that would start some lively discussion and would be fun to talk about so I brought it with me to class. Big mistake. I should have read it, if only to edit it. The first step was for them to read the article out loud, and I soon realized that I had made a mistake when the girls were saying things like "former fuck buddy". I don't think they knew what they were saying, which was good...but I realized from then on out I had best read my articles before bringing them. I quickly stopped them from reading the article...asked them to discuss what they had thought about it, and then we moved on to general questions on life, as they quizzed me about where I was from and why I came to Korea. The 50 minutes couldn't go by fast enough, but eventually they did. After my first shift, a cute 18 year old girl offered to take me to the bank to exchange some dollars to won. We went, but unfortunately the bank wouldn't do it...so sadly I was unable to convert my cash. I asked her to show me a decent restauraunt and she took me to a place that serves hamburgers. They were edible...but didn't hold a candle anything from the US. It really made me want a double double animal style with chiles from In-N-Out Burger. I'm unsure if this is everywhere in Korea...but in order to cross the street, they don't have crosswalks. Instead there is what I thought was a subway entrance that simply goes under the street and up. It's a lot of stairs! I've been doing that a lot lately. I both live and work on the 3rd floor of a building, so I am doing a lot of stairs in the day...so that should be good for me. I'm pretty damn tired already, but hopefully that won't last forever. Couple that with the fact that I haven't exactly been eating a lot...and I have the potential to drop some serious lbs. I am still hating Korea quite a bit, and can't wait to come home...but at least I'm feeling a bit better. Sadly, I will be spending both Christmas and New Years here in 2010...but unless I decide to stay another year, at least I can finish my year with bunch of holidays....and then when I come back to the USA...it will be celebration!

On another note, I was also accepted to ASU's online campus, and am trying to decide if I should attempt college while over here as well. I think it is going to depend on how my phone meeting with an academic advisor goes. Right now, it doesn't look like all my courses have finished transferring to ASU from UW...so I only know that I am 8 credit hours (and supposedly 45 upper level credit hours) shy of a degree....but have no idea where I stand on the rest of the requirements. In theory, since I already have a BA you would think I just need to get my major work done...but I have a feeling they are going to want me to take some upper level math and sciences courses...in which that will be a deal breaker. I can barely remember algebra...let alone some of the other higher level math.

Day 3

Today I moved in to my apartment. Holy crap is it small. Like...I had some theories on how small the place might be, but this blows them out of the water. It is called a one room apartment...and they mean it. The bed sits against the wall on the floor. On the opposide side of the room sits a tiny tv that has a terrible picture, sitting in front of double glass doors that lead a tiny 1.5 foot annex that houses my fridge and washing machine. There is no dryer...just a rack to hang the clothes from, which I am not excited about because that means once I run out of clean clothes, the rest of my shirts are are going to be hard and scratchy from air drying. To the left of my bed is a small sink and stove I don't plan on ever using...which leads directly to the smallest bathroom in the history of mankind. I have a Korean style shower, which means that there is no shower curtain and all the water just goes on to the floor where it drains. This means that if I need to use the bathroom any time within a few hours of taking a shower, I had better take off my socks, otherwise I will have some wet feet. I still haven't figured out where everything is going to go, as I don't have adresser or anything like that...so I will have to hang up my shirts...but I am not sure about what to do with the underwear. I was also saddened and dismayed to find out that my Xbox360 can't handle 220V. This shocked me, since my cell phone charger, laptop, and every electrical product I brought other than my alarm clock...all can handle 220V. I bought a stepdown converter that can handle 2000 watts...but the damn thing failed on me immediately...and fried the power brick of my 360. So now I am left trying to figure out how to replace it...preferably with a european style brick so that I can get back to playing NHL10...which I am definately jonesing for.

Side Note: My passport was stolen from my hotel room. Fucking wonderful, eh?

Day 2

So the bus ride to Jeonju was 4 hours...a full hour and a half longer than I thought it would be. Luckily through sheer dumb luck, the guy I was supposed to call just happened to check and see if I was on the bus...so he was waiting for me at the bus stop. He picked me up, and we drove past the school I will be working at. I was taken to a hotel where I stayed last night and will be here today as well. I move in to my apartment tomorrow afternoon, and then will have a 1/2 day of orientation. I start teaching my first class on Monday. I am nervous..but hoping the job is easy. Culture shock is definately starting to set in. I left my hotel today in search of food...and that was an adventure. Nothing looks even partially recognizable, so I stood outside my hotel for about 5 minutes just trying to memorize what it looked like so I could find it. I then set off in a straight line in search of a restautant. On my way there, I found a small convienance store where I bought a phone card. I was forced to hold my hand up to my ear to get my point across, but luckily he understood and I bought a card that has 144 minutes for 10,000 won, which is a little less than $10. I then found a restaurant and went inside. They had "When Harry Met Sally" on the TV, except it was dubbed in Korean. I never thought in my life that ordering lunch would be a stressful experiance. The lady didn't speak a word of english, and I the same in Korean. The menu had no pictures on it...so I just shrugged my shoulders and hoped for the best. For a fleeting moment I considered flapping my arms like a chicken, but decided against it. She ended up bringing me a bowl of some rice and vegetable concoction that was kind of bland, but it was edible. I also had some kimchis and there was even a plate of fish heads that I immediately pushed away. Apparently there is a specific way to eat things in Korea, because the lady kept coming over and correcting me when I used the fork insted of a spoon to eat the rice stuff. All in all I found the whole situation stressful..but at least I got something to eat. I picked up a 1.5L bottle of Coke, a bag of korean buggles, and a bag of korean funyuns at the store....and then went back to my hotel room, already having been through enough adventure for the day. I then called home and spent the next hour talking to my mom, my dad, and James, as well as Nick and Zac. I tried calling Ellyn, but got voicemail. It's definately been an experience...and there is a lot of emotions that I am feeling right now. There were some tears shed on the phone...but I think it had more to do with stress and unfamiliarity than with anything else. I was embarassed...but I couldn't help it. I am trying to take this day by day, and hopefully I find my way here and learn to love this place...but right now that seems really daunting. I can't wait to see where I will be living tomorrow..and hopefully I can get a few things shipped from home that I was unable to bring with (Camcorder, power cord I forgot, bed sheets, a TOWEL...). It's 4pm as I write this...and I figure the rest of my day today will be sitting on my rock hard Korean bed (seriously...its like sleeping on a concrete slab with a 1/2 of foam on top) and watching Beverly Hills, 90210 on the laptop until bed time. It's still quite surreal when I realize that I am actually half way across the world...a full 23 hours of travel away...It's odd that I am actually here...and I find myself wishing for a little familiarity. At least now I know...when I come back home...I am really going to appreciate it.

Side note: I called my fraternity brother, Jun Mo Park...who told me that he FLEW to Incheon (he lives 3.5 hrs by bus) to try and suprise me at the airport. He lives about 4 hrs from Jeonju by bus. Talk about a bummer! I would have loved to see him! We are planning on getting together one of the upcoming weekends for sure. He also offered to give me a cell phone of his because Americans cannot get cell phones in Korea. That's some Sigma Pi love right there!